June 21, 2001, I remember this day like it was yesterday. I was feeling low and just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t do guys anymore, I couldn’t do disappointment anymore, I couldn’t do this life anymore. On this specific day I took my son James (he was 8 years old), to San Francisco to the gardens.
A little bit about my son and I: I was divorced from his dad when he was only 6 months old and we shared custody. For an entire week I didn’t have my most favorite person in the entire world and my heart was so broken. But when he was with me my life was so full and I loved every minute with him. So just think about this, there are 52 weeks in a year, 26 of those I was without my love, my life felt broken. It was the hardest part of my life. Back to my story.
We came to a fountain in the garden and I made a wish with my son next to my side. Well I said a prayer and my prayer was specifically this: “God please bring someone into my life that will love me for who I am, will love me no matter what. Someone who will treat my son like he was his own and would love him for who he is and will love him no matter what. In Jesus name, Amen!!!!!!!!!”
We tossed in our coins and stood there for a few minutes and looked into the water and tears dropped out of my eyes. I looked at him and said let’s go now.
In October of that same year I was at work and this guy caught me in the hallway and asked me if I was Tina. I wanted to say no because I was on my way to the cafeteria to get some ice for my Pepsi (don’t get in the middle of me and my Pepsi). I said yes but you need to walk with me because I am going someplace. He needed to talk to me about work related stuff. I was not a very nice person back then, I just wanted to be left alone.
Fast forward, that dude that bugged me that day is the one that I prayed to God for that day in June. We were married the following June, 8 months after we met. Fast forward to present day, we celebrated our 17th year anniversary.
I love music, songs touch my heart in deep ways. I heard this song called “I prayed for you”, and every time I hear it, I tear up because this is exactly what happened to me years ago when I prayed at that fountain.
I am sharing all this with you because my husband posted a struggle and that struggle involved me and our intimate life. Do I like having my intimate life on display? No way! But if it will help someone else, then I’m an open book, come on into my life. I have included his video and I’m sharing it because we have struggles and I know that my husband was brought to me by God. I have committed to this life with him, I specifically prayed to God for him. He loved my son and me for who we were and still does. I know this because every day he strives to Love God more. If he loves God then he’s gonna love me and my kids.
His struggles with intimacy are between him and God. My struggles with my things are between me and God. Because of that, we have to put God first and we have to keep moving forward and we have to keep moving on. We can’t let God not be the most important love in our lives.
So keep moving forward, keep praying those prayers because you never know when, who, what, why, how, but God will show up.
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