Before 2014, I said goodbye to all sets of grandparents who took care of me since childhood. Then my best friend died suddenly in 2002. I still remember the chills, the numbness, and confusion. I was pregnant with my 1st child at that time too. I was an emotional wreck and my grief haunted me for 10 years. But I wasn’t prepared for what God presented to me in 2014 with 3 abrupt deaths. One was my father-in-law who was the gentlest man. One was my spiritual mom/doula to our boys. But the hardest one was my mom. She was my 1st friend in this world and my very last true best friend.
It’s been 5 years since celebrating my mom’s favorite holiday with her… Thanksgiving. It’s been 5 years since seeing her smile around my boys’ favorite holiday… Christmas. It has taken me 5 years to finally write about my grief. However, this blog isn’t going to be centered around my grief as I have healed from mourning to joy with the sparkles and lessons of love that surround my life. The reason why I wanted to write on this God-theFather blog especially in 2020, is because my word for this year is “HEALING”.
After 5 years, I am ready to share about a candle ministry that was sparked by my experiences which I call “Grief Share”. For me, grief feels like waves. There are moments when you can drown in these deep waves, but there are times when you can actually catch your breath in between these waves. Regardless of the time that has passed, the waves are still intense. The frequency is less. But when the waves come, they definitely crash when you least expect it. God has given me a purpose through my pain which is not to be fearful of it, especially if it is associated with grief. I must surf the waves with others by blessing them with a Grief Share candle. This non-verbal expression during mourning has such a significant meaning and this is the one act that truly healed my mourning during grief.
This candle represents grief.
This candle represents courage.
This candle represents the memories of a loved one.
This candle represents the light of love.
Candles always seem to comfort those who are missing a loved one because we long for their physical presence so a candle fills the void of our aching hearts. We light it and the flame 🔥 represents the person we miss. We smell the sweet aroma, usually one that reminds us of our loved ❤ one. The smoke 💨 ascends up to the skies which is like a means of communication to our loved one in the sky. Lastly, you don't feel alone with a candle burning its light ✨. Many find comfort and peace in this. Then once we are done with this "ritual", we are in control of blowing out the candle and saying goodbye. With grief, we have no control so this simple act helps with our healing.
May this bring our mourning to joy as we share our grief together.
Since 2014, the Grief Share ministry has delivered 30 candles to those that have lost greatly. In this blog, I want to share how a simple act of gifting a candle has spread its light into the hearts of others.
My life’s motto is “preparedness + opportunity = success”. And I definitely do not like the shock factor behind grief, especially when you don’t know what will trigger your next painful cry. However, when you have a visual like a Grief Share candle, it becomes a multi-sensory experience of healing where you can touch, smell, see, and hear the burning candle. This makes the healing process a bit more bearable. But to top it off, if this candle was gifted to you by someone who knows exactly how you feel, it can be 10 times more powerful. Because in grief, we should never suffer alone. This is the experience of Grief Share… we can share in the grief without really needing to say too much. Then when you are ready to have coffee/tea to share your grief, I will listen and share in the mourning with you. This is my Grief Share ministry. I am here if you need me!
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