“Your past. Your present. Trauma has many ways of finding a way out particularly if it’s been suppressed.”
Quoted by the character Clinician Jure Sutalo, in the Netflix Limited Series Black Earth Rising, The Eyes of the Devil episode, 8 Oct. 2018.
As recovering addicts, we understand how our past trauma affects our present. We lived through it every day we sought out our fix; every day we convinced ourselves we didn’t have a problem; every day we said we’d change but didn’t. We know well the effect of trauma on our mental, emotional, and spiritual state and how it can destroy relationships and unravel all the things we worked for.
The effect of trauma is not specific only to addicts. Any one of us can suffer from the events of our past and not be an addict. However, it will reveal itself in the way we conduct ourselves and how our body reacts to the suppressed emotions. You may be familiar with the phrase, “You can’t hide from who you are.” Let’s unpack what this means.
Who You Are
There is a dual meaning in this phrase:
You are an assortment of all your experiences (includes upbringing and social status), personality, and choices.
You are everything beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and purposeful (You Are Love).
In other words, your past does not have to define your present. But in many ways, you can’t escape your past no matter what you do. The most you can do is live with it and be aware of how it can affect your decision-making.
I think the goal is to accept your past, learn from the experience of it, and live without the past influencing your choices today. Obviously, it’s easier said than done. The bottom-line is we don’t want to live “trapped” reliving the trauma over and over again in our mind.
So, remembering Who You Are doesn’t mean you stay stuck in your past. It just means, you have accepted what you’ve been through and now choose to live a different experience. Healed, not broken. That’s the real goal.
You are love
I consider this a “spiritual remembering”, in the sense that you must relearn what you were born to do. And it doesn’t have to be grandiose. Too many of us think we have to achieve great accolades or become famous or rich in order to have an impact on this world. Not true. To have an impact on this world requires you to be the very best of Who You Are.
😊 I know…we’ve circled back to the previous section. What I’ve learned and observed of those who give their best at anything, is they reach a point where they know who they are and are comfortable with where they are. Many years ago, I heard someone say that you should live your life like it’s play. Even those of us without children know that all kids love to play. It’s basically what they do before they formally start school. They play.
Imagine living your life in a way that everything you do is like play. Even the work you choose can become a form of playing. It depends on how you approach it, and what purpose you derive from it. Play is a joyful experience and who doesn’t want to experience joy in their life?
Remembering that you are love also means realizing that you don’t have to be bound by your upbringing or social status. It means accepting everything good you feel in your heart and expressing it in your thoughts, words, and actions. And hopefully, this same deep love will give you the courage and boldness to express Who You Are in every moment.
This is just the beginning…there is so much more to learn about Who You Are and how Love fits into all of it.
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