“The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.”
—Big Book, p. 83.
Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that the 12 Steps of Recovery are actually spiritual principles by which to live by. Not only do the steps guide you through sobriety, healing, and learning a new way to live; the steps are spirituality in action.
“You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.”
—James 2:24, New International Version.
Step 9 – Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
You can consider Step 9 a self-accountability step. This is the first step that involves people outside of your personal recovery. If you’ve done them properly, the previous eight steps have prepared you for Step 9. This is where action is more important than faith, self-belief, and trust. In order to deepen your healing in the recovery process, you make amends with those you have harmed.
“The word amend means “to change.” This is not an apology step of groveling self-humiliation. Instead, it is admitting to the people we have wronged that we know and understand the pain we have caused, and that we are committed to changing our behavior so that we will avoid causing any more pain.”
—Project HEAL, Christ-centered Recovery Lessons, p. 37.
I was sharing with someone recently that sometimes things have to be difficult and rough before it gets better. Asking for forgiveness of those you have harmed will probably be one of the hardest things you do. But when you get through it, you’ll realize it was for the best. Making amends is part of the healing process. It’s okay if it hurts while you’re going through it. Sometimes its necessary to hurt before deep healing takes place.
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