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Writer's pictureMarvello V

sustained sobriety requires honesty

“By admitting and examining the specifics of our sin as we work Step 5, we find a pathway to the deeper core problems that lead us to wrongdoing. Step 5 moves us forward toward freedom.”
Project HEAL Christ-centered Recovery Lessons, p. 19.

Later this year I’ll reach 20 years clean and sober. My brother commented curiously what the relapse rate is for those with 20+ years of sobriety. I told him that my late father-in-law (also a person in recovery) shared with me that he noticed many people “fell off” (the sobriety wagon) after 13 years. It makes sense to me that any amount of long-term sobriety will put your heart, mind, and will to the test. Consider these statistics:

“Alcoholism is one of the major health problems seen all over the world. The risk of relapse was estimated among 94 clients with alcohol dependence syndrome (ADS) who attended both in- and out-patient units of a tertiary care hospital. The tools used were the sociodemographic and clinical variables, Clinical Institute of Withdrawal Assessment Alcohol-revised (CIWA-Ar), Alcohol Use Disorder Identification Test (AUDIT), and Advanced Warning of Relapse (AWARE) scale. Out of the 94 clients, 63 (67.7%) were in the low-risk group for getting relapse, 26 (27.7%) were in the moderate-risk group, and 5 (5.3%) were in the high-risk group. Family history of alcohol use was significantly associated with the AWARE score (P < 0.05).
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30232972/, Risk of relapse in clients with alcohol dependence syndrome in a tertiary care hospital, National Library of Medicine, Jul-Sep 2018.

In the high-risk group, a lot depends on family history and how committed you are to maintaining sobriety. All of us get tempted, so it’s a matter of whether we give in to the temptation or not. Then, there is the idea that we get overconfident and convinced of our self-healing but we end up back where we started.


Ed Wigg, a licensed addiction therapist and the Executive Director of the Curran-Seeley Foundation in Wyoming, offers this explanation: “Oftentimes we see people who have achieved sobriety fall away from continuing to do those things that they did to help them get clean and sober in the early stages—like going to meetings. They think that they’ve been sober for years so they don’t need to go to AA, work with a sponsor, or see a therapist anymore—all the things they did diligently in their early days. They slip back into a pattern of trying to do it on their own, without support.””
https://www.thefix.com/content/relapsing-long-term-sobriety-10020, Drinking Again: Relapsing After Longterm Sobriety, by Nina Emkin, 02/09/12.

One of the reasons I stay connected with the recovery community is because I don’t want to forget how out of control my life can get. Whenever I connect with friends I partied with 20+ years ago, inevitably a story or two is shared about some crazy thing I did. At this stage in my recovery I don’t get offended or guilty, but I will apologize. Often, I’m told I don’t need to apologize because it’s something they remember about me. Internally, I’m grateful for them sharing the story because it reminds me of where I don’t want to be…ever again.


A principle I embrace to maintain my sobriety is to be brutally honest and real with myself. So when I hear stories told by others about my party (addiction) antics I accept it as a truth about Who I Was, not Who I Am. I’m not bound to my past even if others remind me of my past.


“To work Step 5, we must reach another level of humility and willingness. To have God in all parts of our hearts and lives, we must be bale to admit our exact wrongs honestly and openly.”
Project HEAL Christ-centered Recovery Lessons, p. 18.


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