At a certain point in our sobriety, recovery becomes about quitting old beliefs and behaviors. As we continue to master sobriety—coping with life without using drugs or substances—we will eventually have to start recovering from old ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. We have to face our ego, our personal pride, and ask ourselves, “Do we let go of our old ways of living (mentally & emotionally)? Or continue acting out old patterns even though we’re clean and sober?”
“If we are to achieve lasting recovery from addictive substances and behaviors, forgiveness is required. Step Eight requires the shattering of our pride once again, to develop the deeper humility that opens the way to forgiveness, God expects us to extend mercy to other people, just as God has extended mercy to us.”
Project HEAL Christ-centered Recovery Lessons, p. 32.
It’s August, the 8th month of the year, which means our recovery theme for this month is on Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. My hope is that you have gone through this step and are well on your way to deeper healing and a release from old behaviors and ways of dealing with things. If you haven’t completed this step, and you’ve already gone through Steps 1 through 7, then I ask, “Why not? Why haven’t you started the process of asking for forgiveness?”
I get it. Step 8 is a tough step. There is no excitement, anticipation, or joy even thinking about this step. But it’s a necessary one if you want lasting recovery. Why? Because unforgiveness is like an emotional poison that affects the way you think, speak, and act. It seeps into every fiber of your being until you let it all go. And you start the letting go process by making the list of people you need to make amends to.
Right now, all Step 8 asks of you is to make a list of all the people you need to ask forgiveness from. And don’t forget to include yourself. It’s important that you forgive yourself for clinging to past habits, hurts, and hang-ups. For now, trust the process of 12 Step Recovery, and don’t do anything more than write out the list. This is a good start, before you move on to Step 9.
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